Me: Do you have to use the washroom?
Wade: Yeah I'm going in right now. Why, do you have to use the washroom? Like, physically?
Me: !! How else do you use the washroom Wade?? lol
Andrew: Yesss I want to use the washroom mentally! Ooooh yaahh!
Anon's Hilarious TV Surfing
Sarcasm: I made tea.
Melodrama: I don't want tea.
Sarcasm: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Melodrama: Then why are you telling me?
Sarcasm: It's a conversation starter.
Melodrama: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sarcasm: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.
Funny stuff Aarthy!
Adhish Bhargava - Somehow mayo just doesn't cut the mustard
Habib Qureshi - DUDE. Close the door, can't you see the salad is dressing
Adhish Bhargava - I heard that one when I was 5. You really need to ketchup
Habib Qureshi - orange you glad you went to school then?
Adhish Bhargava - I wish someone told me to concentrate though.
Habib Qureshi - We really seem to be squeezing it with the puns 'eh?
Kunal Khosla - im going bananas reading this...
Habib Qureshi - agreed. I am feeling mighty peachy myself
Kaushal Amin - can u be anymore cheesy
Kunal Khosla - yeah.. well.. i need to go pea
Kaushal Amin - omelette this one slide...
Kunal Khosla - yea.. well you butter
Kaushal Amin - pho getboutit!!
Adhish Bhargava - You'll are on a roll!
Kunal Khosla - stop egging him on!
Habib Qureshi - all this is kind of getting hard to swallow
Adhish Bhargava - lettuce not go off-topic
Habib Qureshi - i seem to sense some bitterness
Kaushal Amin - i relish this..
Habib Qureshi - indeed, things are just starting to spice up
Kaushal Amin - egg-zactly
Adhish Bhargava - Lets just forget about what happened and curry on.
Kunal Khosla - aa i see you have some trix up your sleeve
Habib Qureshi - yes well, he lifts his sleeve and things will get really saucy
Adhish Bhargava - I am appled!
Kaushal Amin - i'm berry happy were this is going....it's grape..
Adhish Bhargava - I think olive us deserve credit for this.
Habib Qureshi - aren't we all sweet?
Kaushal Amin - i think we shud make this a deli routine..
Habib Qureshi - that a wrap. that's all folks
Adhish Bhargava - Thank Cod!
Kaushal Amin - we can't stop now...we're raisin the roof
Kunal Khosla - yea come on.. we can get s'more
Adhish Bhargava - Habib - I hope you donut mind but I dont think this is going to stop just yet.
Kunal Khosla - from here on it can only get batter
Adhish Bhargava - Only if we wok on it.
Habib Qureshi - I seriously doubt we can pour anything more in this
Kunal Khosla - im sure we can if we work after 8
Adhish Bhargava - I need to sleep then. Do you carrot all?
Habib Qureshi - we really seem to be slicing it piece by piece
Kunal Khosla - I'm gonna work harder on this than i do on my mussels
Habib Qureshi - I can't help but feel crabby now
Adhish Bhargava - You know what that means - thyme for some fresh air!
Kunal Khosla - cheerio then?
Habib Qureshi - some fresh air really chopped up my crabbiness
Adhish Bhargava - This is a good way to pasta time away.
Kunal Khosla - am i herring things or are you both back?
Adhish Bhargava - Only time veal tell.
Kunal Khosla - I don't want to mess up.. I got a big steak in this.
Habib Qureshi - relax, no one's getting sour yet
Kunal Khosla - You think we can earn some bread doing this?
Adhish Bhargava - You want to be paid a celery for all of this?
Kunal Khosla - that was a good bun!
Habib Qureshi - I wouldn't mind getting paid. I really knead the dough
Kunal Khosla - I guess I could give you some brownie points
Kaushal Amin - ramen to that...
Kunal Khosla - Now your just pudding words in my mouth!
Adhish Bhargava - How can you'll be so naanchalant?
Habib Qureshi - Don't worry. None of us have hit a jam yet
Adhish Bhargava - I thought you would have a latte problems. You are handling all of this so well.
Kunal Khosla - it should be fine as long as none of this leeks
Habib Qureshi - all these food puns are really stirring my appetite
Adhish Bhargava - They're good but there is still mushroom for improvement.
Kunal Khosla - You think this can be a wafer us to meet girls?
Adhish Bhargava - Other than this we really don't have the skillet takes.
Habib Qureshi - I disagree Adhish, I still manage to sizzle with the ladies.
Adhish Bhargava - Another happy boil meets grill story.
Kunal Khosla - woah woah.. bak lava boy..
Adhish Bhargava - Stay away from girls who are nachos
Kunal Khosla - I hate taking girls out.. They make me pista money away that my parents gave me
Habib Qureshi - I agree. I haven't been able to hold a crisp note longer than a day with these broads
Kunal Khosla - THIS IS BULL CREPE!
Adhish Bhargava - Next time give them a pizza your mind.
Kunal Khosla - This is like some hindi movie cereal!
Habib Qureshi - a well done hindi movie cereal
Adhish Bhargava - Will it make me falafel?
Kunal Khosla - Velveeta are always starving...
Adhish Bhargava - In this day and sage?
Habib Qureshi - I am well aware I am going off-topic, but have you seen the weather outside. It's getting unbelievably chilly here
Adhish Bhargava - Yea, I yam freezing!
Kunal Khosla - Ice cream for some sun!
Habib Qureshi - yeah, I have beef with this weather too.
Kunal Khosla - You know who else I have a beef with? Cheetos! Why do they need to copy all my work?
Habib Qureshi - Cheetos and tigers usually blend in quite nicely with their surroundings
Kunal Khosla - Bean there done that! I myself am confused where I am at times..
Adhish Bhargava - Don't worry it can happen to the pesto us.
Habib Qureshi - oh, has anyone here read/seen Pita Pan. Its a wonderful movie
Adhish Bhargava - I'll make a note of it in my colander.
Habib Qureshi - Also, watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Mutton
Adhish Bhargava - That movie was waffle
Kunal Khosla - There was definitely something fishy about that movie
Adhish Bhargava - Fishiness was the yeast of my problems with it.
Kunal Khosla - So you saying it was saute the worst movie you ever seen?
Habib Qureshi - I know this sounds gay, but I wouldn't mind spooning Brad Pitt
Kunal Khosla - As Homer Simpson would put it "Dough!"
Habib Qureshi - I hated thightanic. All that water made me sea sick
Kaushal Amin - ull need a dr.pepper if ur feeling sick..
Adhish Bhargava - There has to be another whey.
Habib Qureshi - i know its soda wrong to have thoughts about Brad Pitt, but they are my thoughts. MINE
Adhish Bhargava - I really enjoyed this punini. DELISH!
Habib Qureshi - That's cause you Adhish, have a tiny pickle!
Kunal Khosla - Mango get a life!
Habib Qureshi - Have you read "A series of unfortunate events" by Lemony Snicket
Kunal Khosla - I have that one in mint condition
Our conversation is as stimulating as cocaine.– Virgil, on our chat about intellectual discourse in a social environment. Love the guy!
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.– T.S. Eliot - The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
On The Day of My Final Exam
That bus Was taking an eternity and a half to come. I saw it approaching in the hazy distance Moving like a lazy caterpillar. You said ‘Caterpillars are cute.’ ‘The bus however, is not’ I assured you matter-of-factly. Buses smell of body odor, vomit and dirty socks. Strangely I have grown used to it. Five years of the TTC will tell you that. It’s the morbid...
Do I dare disturb the Universe?– T.S. Eliot - The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea/ By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed...– T.S Eliot - The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me;– Emily Dickinson
On Tasting Tobacco-less Shisha
Andrew: Is the shisha good?
*Andrew tries shisha*
Trina: How is it?
Andrew: It tastes like cardboard.
Trina: Yes! My thoughts exactly.
Andrew: I mean, I feel like I just licked a blanket.
The Hairy Snowman
Andrew: Holy Crap! I wish I could take a picture of this!
Me: Omg I wanna see! Quick use your phone!
Andrew: I tried but it comes out really blurry. :(
Me: Urgh. Ok I am mad at your phone now. It is officially a piece of junk.
Andrew: I know! Damn 2 megapixel camera! It's so 2009.
Me: Like that's ssssooo yessssterdayy omg
Andrew: Jesssusss Chrissssst, sssssooo ridiculousss, I mean thisss phone can't even check twitterrr. I'm sssorry but thisss isss the 21ssst century. A phone iss sssimply not acceptable if it'sss not tweetable.
Me: Bahahahahha "tweetable"!
I love thee to the level of every day’s most quiet need, by sun and...– Elizabeth Barret Browning, How Do I Love Thee (one of my all time favorite poems since I was 16)
The Corrs - Runaway (one of my favorite songs)
Raad after a meal
Raad: Omg I am so full.
Me: Are you? that's good.
Raad: I wish I was a cow. I could regurgitate and eat for days!
Buddha was always calm because he was too fat to move.– Raad
You know it's summer when...
The ice cream truck comes around in your neighborhood playing the ice cream song :) YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ice cream and summer time: my two favorite things in life! Hellooo world!
Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can...– Alex Tan (my all time favorite quote)
I have begun in old age to understand just how oddly we are all put together. We...– Saul Bellow, Canadian born American novelist
It is not because the truth is too difficult to see that we make mistakes…...– Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Russian novelist
Individualism is rather like innocence; there must be something unconscious...– Louis Kronenberger, American writer
Like Patience on a rock My lap will wait for your gentle head Till you lie in it, sweetly caress my baby toe Make that sound that pulls at my heart Looking up at me like I was a golden field of daffodils. “Miss, please wake up. You are drooling on the coffee table. I would let you stay but we are about to close, and your tip simply isn’t worth my time.” DATE: APRIL 7,...
In Search of A Lamb Not A Wolf
She appeared nice and friendly With a smile childish and cheeky Her eyes dancing like a fire in the night forest. Then suddenly I noticed - Her tongue was too fat for her mouth She spoke all the time, way too fast Ready to belch out everything she heard Comment on things she didn’t know. Like a steady poison she spread everywhere Bearing the laughter of death. She knew that I...
Me and Raad really need to rethink our career goals… why be scientists...– Virgil commenting on an epic picture of him and Raad
Congrats to my sister Purna on landing with her first Blackberry and striking an awesome deal with Rogers (those bloodsucking roaches)!!! Next: my Iphone plan and an awesome deal coming up before summer ends!! WOOOOT!!
There’s something amazing about the first car ride you take alone - it’s you behind the wheels, the open road and the annoying seatbelt. But hey, at least today was the day your parents let you take the car out to drop off your friend and they trust your judgment, they have confidence in you and they want you to call the very exact moment you reach your destination to know that you...
Come on Monday
Fahrim: You pinky promised so you are coming on Monday.
Fahrim: Now don't be mean. If you don't keep your promise and come here early I will be sad. I will be sooo saaaddd. And you don't wanna do that to me.
Trina: lol omg I know what you're doing! Cmonnnn I'm coming! And you can't be sad otherwise I can't leave.
Fahrim: Can you see the sadness pouring out through all the holes in my body?
Trina: Omg lol I know your game you guilt-tripper
Fahrim: Dont try to un-guilt trip this guilt trip, this is a legitimate guilt trip